Whoops
I deserved the false positive of the pregnancy test for leaving it in my car for two weeks in the Florida sun.
2008-07-17 09:19:20 / Rating: 54.5 / 
Story archives - tag: "irony"
What a combination
I walked out of the drug store with a "Congratulations on your new baby" card, a month's worth of birth control pills, and a coupon for personal hygene wipes wondering what the cashier must be thinking.
2008-07-14 16:57:44 / Rating: 55 /
Noa
The irony that I had taken a day off from my job collecting horse urine to go to the doctors and have to provide a urine sample did not escape me at all.
2008-07-07 13:57:05 / Rating: 48.5 /
Anagram
It was only appropriate that the one day that I, the most gullible student in the fourth grade at the time, did not believe a ridiculous story that someone told me was that day in September when the world changed forever.
2008-06-02 13:36:25 / Rating: 74 /
Oh the irony
Reading through the unapproved sentences yesterday, I was impressed with the emotional intensity and similarity I had with one of them, until I realized it was one of my own.
2008-05-30 10:09:50 / Rating: 138.25 /
Seriously?
The broken car window was only made more annoying by the fact that they hadn't actually stolen anything.
2008-05-13 11:57:45 / Rating: 113.5 /
cpumaster
I blew out my knee making love to my fiance a week before I had to go to the recruiters office.
2008-05-08 17:37:40 / Rating: 153.25 /
Lock
I'm the high school dropout with purple hair, yet I'm the only one out of my group of friends with a job.
2008-04-29 12:11:07 / Rating: 85.25 /
Interviewee
1 hour and 45 minutes, a talkative bald man, a crack-head with a faxing issue, and 13 color copies later, I am still hours away from ready for tomorrow.
2008-04-25 10:22:44 / Rating: 66.25 /
OminousGasPains
When I wrenched my back unpacking the massage table, her anniversary gift suddenly became "ours."
2008-04-15 10:05:44 / Rating: 95.75 /
Stephanie E.
I went to the emergency room and was diagnosed with a headache.
2008-04-07 14:21:43 / Rating: 91.5 /
JoJo
As soon as he said "Be careful," I fell down the stairs, breaking both the typewriter and my finger.
2008-04-02 15:23:21 / Rating: 117 /
mcleman
When I finally got to see my only son again after 30 years apart, he nonchalantly said: "You know, it's great to meet you, but I already have a dad."
2008-03-25 10:52:57 / Rating: 109.5 /
Oops
As I put away my birth certificate that was returned with my new passport, I found the passport I thought I lost.
2008-02-13 13:07:17 / Rating: 108.75 /
1up
I realized what irony was when I reached for my box of birth control hidden in a baby's onesie.
2008-01-16 14:21:53 / Rating: 110.25 /
Melodious
My co-worker, who is named Patience, is the most stressed out person I know.
2008-01-16 14:20:08 / Rating: 105.5 /
ueline
When my Catholic grandmother watches America's Funniest Home Videos she laughs hardest when a man is hit in the groin and that makes me laugh harder.
2007-12-31 11:53:02 / Rating: 153.75 /
NoSex
She thought I was looking at myself in the mirror, but I was actually flirting with another girl from across the room whose ass and eyes I caught in the reflection.
2007-12-27 12:25:39 / Rating: 106.75 /
eschatologies
My rapist went to jail and was released early for "good behavior.".
2007-10-10 13:34:25 / Rating: 245 /
Murphy's Lawyer
She meant it as a joke when she saw our downcast faces and asked "Who died?", but she didn't expect me to answer.
2007-10-03 10:07:36 / Rating: 248 /
Schaaz
As I struggled with my human anatomy studies, I realized that I now knew the most effective way to slit my wrists.
2007-09-19 15:07:54 / Rating: 164.75 /
backatya
I left my ex-wife for her and then later she left me for my ex-wife.
2007-09-19 15:04:27 / Rating: 248.5 /
Kiiiile
In the month since I've started my new job I've been paid more then I ever have in my life but have yet to be given anything to work on.
2007-09-19 15:03:10 / Rating: 130 /
Texas Honkey
I am a 25-year-old journalist who graduated high school with honors, is finishing up my English degree and I can't spell the word calander.
2007-09-13 13:51:26 / Rating: 121 /
...
I was a row behind her at his wake, two at his funeral, and across the table at the dinner but I never told her I slept with him while they were dating.
2007-09-07 22:43:40 / Rating: 96.25 /
busboy
As they sit and think they are better, I take away their food and never have felt smarter.
2007-08-14 16:59:37 / Rating: 107.75 /
Blue
I had been crying for hours, so I felt a little silly when the moment he told me he was on his way right over, I stopped.
2007-07-09 10:09:16 / Rating: 153 /
Shaden Freude
She had no idea that when she sarcastically said "I know I'm going to die," about getting her wisdom teeth pulled that she actually would.
2007-07-05 17:28:29 / Rating: 153.25 /
wishing
The only thing that is orginized in my life is my pill box.
2007-06-22 10:45:26 / Rating: 155.75 /
Arris
When security arrived, I was bloody, shaking, bruised and crying and they asked me, "Are you okay?"
2007-06-22 10:37:33 / Rating: 141 /
Holly
World of Warcraft led to the end of our relationship, but has now become a healthy part of it.
2007-06-19 14:07:44 / Rating: 127.25 /
Christine
I used to have nightmares that he would leave me, but now they are fantasies.
2007-06-15 17:31:44 / Rating: 245.5 /
Rabbit
I came out at BYU because I couldn't not go to bed with her and then she left me eight years later for our therapist.
2007-06-14 14:57:57 / Rating: 159.25 /
countedx58
How fitting it was that my best friend's abusive husband died a painful death from melanoma of the rectum.
2007-05-30 13:38:41 / Rating: 243.5 /
dan r
And so, seven hours before going to VietNam, I went to jail instead for smoking weed grown from seed smuggled back from VietNam.
2007-05-24 23:42:39 / Rating: 190.25 /
ElliB.
It was only after the sleepover with whipped cream and pillow fights and her boyfriend on speaker phone that I found out she had lost her virginity to him an hour earlier.
2007-05-21 10:15:51 / Rating: 148 /
eggsaladstains
After hearing for the umpteenth time how important it is to live in the now, I begin to wonder why I am spending my "now" studying for the AP Psychology exam, and furthermore, why I am submitting this to One Sentence.
2007-05-10 10:40:59 / Rating: 163.5 /
Torano
My mother, being enraged, screamed "You son of a bitch", to which I replied, "Yes, I am."
2007-03-28 17:07:09 / Rating: 295 /
Bursting
I was 16 when I learned my parents weren't immortal.
2007-02-12 12:36:47 / Rating: 164.75 /
JJ
I pressed the panic button and when 5 fully armed policemen arrived with the security company, I was even more afraid.
2006-12-18 10:01:11 / Rating: 135.5 /
The Ordinary
It is the definition of irony that you confess to me now, here in the broom closet, when I know that my breath reeks something fierce.
2006-12-05 12:28:55 / Rating: 208 /
long way from home
In the weeks of my stardom in Nigeria as a 5'2 white female "didn't make the cut in high school" basketball player I regained my confidence.
2006-12-05 12:27:53 / Rating: 147.5 /
Kate O
In my psychology course, we're talking about sleep deprivation and its negative effects on the body, and yet my workload in that class causes me to pull an all-nighter at least once a week.
2006-11-28 10:02:21 / Rating: 186.75 /
Random Person
People used to shun me for my freakishness, now they love me because of it.
2006-11-09 16:09:32 / Rating: 149 /
Pocketwatch Pope
It wasn't until the next day that they found out they had both called me at the same time and that, if they hadn't, none of us would have been alive to realize it.
2006-11-05 11:42:39 / Rating: 162.5 /
Anonymous
It was during a philosophy class, sitting bored and staring at the wall, that I wondered 'Why the hell am I here?'.
2006-11-05 11:40:28 / Rating: 184.5 /
Lily
When we were eleven he was grossed out when I accidentally took a drink from his glass, but by the time we were sixteen he actually wanted to swap spit with me.
2006-11-01 16:20:27 / Rating: 187.75 /
Row
I tormented her while she lived but she died and I'm the one left in turmoil.
2006-10-25 11:04:10 / Rating: 197.75 /
Lise
He said he loved me, but left me for another girl, only to try and win me back again.
2006-10-11 14:19:32 / Rating: 133.25 /
Claris
He would complain that I wasn't feminine enough, but he left me for a dude.
2006-10-09 14:20:01 / Rating: 244.25 /
you know who i am
My mother called me to do a chore and i responded, "What you need, Woman," to which my father chided, "Your mother is NOT a woman!"
2006-09-16 09:27:04 / Rating: 754 /
dooya
Recently I realized that I waste my life on the internet ... and published this insight in a blog.
2006-09-14 10:14:49 / Rating: 612.75 /
JuliePatchouli
He longed for me for four years in high school and then forgot; I avoided him for four years in high school and then obsessed for ten about what could have been.
2006-09-09 10:17:16 / Rating: 582.25 /
Kris
I married my husband on our first date, but it has taken me more than 5 years to decide what colour to paint our dining room.
2006-09-04 11:48:05 / Rating: 769.5 /
Alex
On my tour of Kyoto I dislocated my thumb by falling down some slippery stone steps as I was exiting a shrine where I prayed for good health and good luck for the remainder of my trip (no pun intended).
2006-08-14 00:11:08 / Rating: 189.5 /
Jen
I once ran the sound for a touring mime company.
2006-08-10 01:45:23 / Rating: 250 /