Feenix
He sang to me as we danced in the fountain and later he caressed my cheek, stroked my neck, touched my adam's apple, and asked me if I was a man.
He sang to me as we danced in the fountain and later he caressed my cheek, stroked my neck, touched my adam's apple, and asked me if I was a man.
I began to wonder what kind of vibe I was putting off when a guy gave me his number on a $20 bill, a married couple propositioned me, and I was set up with a porn star all in one week.
I thought he was going to ask me for a dollar, so when he asked me to be his girlfriend I blurted, "No, can't you get it from somebody else?"
The ticket stub to the movie we had not attended kept me from going to jail that night.
It was a little weird to find out after we reunited that his ex-wife resembled me, but it was weirder to find out that my ex-husband and her are now dating.
When my middle-aged friend's elderly ob-gyn boyfriend told her she had "the vagina of a 25-year-old," I couldn't decide if it was a compliment or if he was treating her like one of his patients.
If I'd known it was possible to be a lesbian, I never would have dated him.
After several hours of pondering and countless rough drafts, I waited until my young son was abed, plunked down my credit card to join the online dating site, and sent a painstakingly crafted email to that guy with the amazing profile.
Nobody will ever believe that I lost my virginity to a rapist, because at the time I tried to deal with it by dating him for a month and pretending that it had all been my idea.
My online dating service matched me with my cousin.
I fell in love with her on a chat-site, but when she finally showed me her picture, I am ashamed to say, I dumped her immediately.
I'd never been as bored as I was on our first date, but I'm taking her out again tomorrow night so that I don't need to be alone.
I never spoke to him again because he was dating eight other women.
And then he told me he would have dated me if he had known I was just as easy as the girl he is currently dating.
We were getting along really well until I leaned over and vomited on his feet.
My mother thinks we're dating because she found the hickies he gave me on my neck.
Forty years ago at the bus stop, he said, "I don't know what else to do with you, so I guess I'd better marry you."
He was too stupid to think of a proper insult, but then again, he did spray cologne in his own face.
I discovered The Dealbreaker: a can of Skoal and a wad in his mouth were enough to make me walk in the opposite direction.
Nearing the end of the last meal we ever ate together, a wave of nausea rushed me to the dingy bathroom, leaving her sitting awkwardly in front of an empty plate.