NoRegrets
I yelled at my mother the night her mom died, because she wouldn't quit asking me if I wanted to see the body.
I yelled at my mother the night her mom died, because she wouldn't quit asking me if I wanted to see the body.
I was about to burst into tears when my friend pointed out that the D on my results paper stood for "Distinction".
The next time someone asks what I'm doing, I'm gonna just refer them to the Wikipedia page rather than try to explain echopraxia and watch them walk away even more confused.
After being assigned Denver for our American cities project, she looked at me in confusion and earnestly said, "Isn't Denmark an animal?"
A stunned look came across my peers' faces as the teacher pointed at me, saying that my dad was going to marry her daughter, so I instantaneously snapped, "Not in that way!"
He wrote, "See you next year when you're a boy and I'm a girl."
I panicked, thinking my precious fluffy cat had a tumor, until I realized he just had a Cocoa Puff stuck to his ass.
"Hey," he slurred, barely coherent, as he bent over the sink in the womens' bathroom, "help me wash this sea otter."
I don't know if it qualified as rape, but I know it was wrong.
Up until two days ago, I thought Ernest Hemingway was a large, black man.
This is the second time I have confused Sunday with Saturday.
I heard him say "good luck" as I walked out of the theater, but I didn't understand until I survived the car crash a week later.
He told me that "I mean the world to him," after he admitted that recently his world had one too many planets.
Had I gone back to sleep when I saw his number, he'd be dead, but I still feel like a bad friend.
I traveled around the world for a year and only felt lost once I arrived "home."
We've been chatting for more than 3 years now, yet in the back of my mind I always think of the posibility that he could be an internet pedophile.