Warren Taylor
In spite of the damage to my car and my body, I couldn't help but laugh at becoming the second person in my family to hit a Burger King.
In spite of the damage to my car and my body, I couldn't help but laugh at becoming the second person in my family to hit a Burger King.
When I told the hardware store worker my plan to paint on my ex-boyfriends pristine BMW, without hesitation, she asked what color.
When asked by the mechanic what sort of engine I had, I responded "A black one," and didn't understand why he couldn't stop laughing.
My car was stolen and when it was found 5 hours later the thief had replaced a spark plug and filled it with gas.
When I was four, I ran my dads car into a brick wall in a supermarket parking lot.
I knew it was going to be a long ride home when he put 'Nothing Else Matters' in repeat mode on the car stereo.
The loneliest goat I ever saw was out in the field as I drove by, the wooden fence marking the boundary of the pasture underneath the hanging gray clouds.
As I rounded the hill of the I-35 & I-435 interchange, I thought it was just an old guy in tight white pants whose car had broken down, but then when he turned around, I realized he was an Elvis impersonator, complete with studded polyester pants, tight chest-hair showing shirt, big sunglasses, and the Elvis hair.
I swear to god, the doctor actually said, "This guy's some kind of queer putting toy cars up his ass."
I finally saw how pathetic my car was when I had to use a drink tray from McDonald's strategically placed on the median of my front seat as cup holders.
I didn't realize I had forgotten to take the pump out of my tank until I drove away.
Nothing spells dismay as much as realizing at 80 miles an hour that your tire has come off.