Loving Mother
Unconditional love is when you take the batteries from your vibrator to power your child's favorite car.
2008-07-01 15:11:11 / Rating: 371 / 
Story archives - Most Popular from the Last 30 Days
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1234
I didn't realize it at the time, but my willingness to go streaking at a Christian school in the middle of the night was probably one of the strongest indicators that religion and I didn't have much time left together.
2008-06-25 22:05:06 / Rating: 341.5 /
Tom
From the moment her arms wrapped around my chest and her head found its place against my shoulder, I knew beyond a doubt that I would never think of five feet as too short ever again.
2008-07-18 01:31:48 / Rating: 291 /
Lisa K. S.
I thought he was going to ask me for a dollar, so when he asked me to be his girlfriend I blurted, "No, can't you get it from somebody else?"
2008-07-01 15:13:13 / Rating: 260.25 /
goulide
When my dad finally decided that having a gay child was better than having a dead child, we started talking again.
2008-07-01 15:14:52 / Rating: 256.5 /
Beckii
My childhood finally made sense when I saw a cross dresser walk down the street and realized that that was my dad.
2008-07-10 15:32:07 / Rating: 249 /
duckie
I was having hot and steamy sex wearing nothing but my grandma's pearls, wondering if she had ever done the same exact thing.
2008-07-15 10:23:59 / Rating: 229.25 /
Twinkie
It was an awkward moment when I told the waitress I liked fish tacos and my mother told me not to talk to a woman like that.
2008-07-01 15:13:34 / Rating: 225.25 /
Tin
The one-night-stand girl and I met again at an extended family reunion.
2008-07-01 15:10:46 / Rating: 223.25 /
January
I just saw my uncle get arrested on a 1994 episode of Cops.
2008-07-09 00:01:39 / Rating: 216.75 /
Snafu Suz
As I dropped my spare change into his cup and heard a splash, I was horrified to realize he was not a homeless person begging for money but just a guy on the corner enjoying his coffee.
2008-07-09 00:01:01 / Rating: 196.5 /
S
I told the eighty-something-year-old man to "Have a nice day", and he told me to "Have a nice life."
2008-07-16 10:55:04 / Rating: 195.5 /
Randy
The last thing I saw before the shrapnel hit us was my buddy, Ryan, smiling at me while saying, "Relax or you'll die all tense."
2008-07-15 10:23:46 / Rating: 194 /
KC
I was so disappointed when I learned Santa was Mom and Dad, but I am so excited now that Santa is me.
2008-07-07 13:59:19 / Rating: 189.25 /
sydney
And after I confessed my love for him, he stated that he was flattered and we changed the subject.
2008-06-27 15:22:20 / Rating: 168.75 /
felinefevah
I panicked, thinking my precious fluffy cat had a tumor, until I realized he just had a Cocoa Puff stuck to his ass.
2008-07-18 01:26:39 / Rating: 160.5 /
Ekublai
It was only when my English professor started replacing the "said"s with "and was like"s in my assignments that I started to question the worth of my high school diploma.
2008-06-25 20:39:54 / Rating: 156.75 /
btd
I giggled at my high school graduation when I realized the boy I was walking beside to our seats was the same boy that held my hand at the roller rink in second grade.
2008-06-25 20:42:33 / Rating: 149.75 /
TheArchimage
I knew I was going to fail the class when the professor pulled me aside and asked, "Do you have a learning disability I should know about?"
2008-07-01 15:12:30 / Rating: 135.5 /
Jules
I have a clock in my living room that my dad loved and it stopped on the day he died at the exact time of his death.
2008-07-16 10:42:36 / Rating: 124 /
Peanut
The cop and I had a delightful conversation about sweaters and the weather and to this day he does not know that I was drunk and not even 17 yet.
2008-06-25 16:05:41 / Rating: 122.75 /
Emily
We got quite the looks at the hospital, walking around with her hands glued to my feet in wheelbarrow position.
2008-07-10 15:32:31 / Rating: 121.5 /
Erin
As I contemplated removing my birthmark, the woman in the dressing room said she used to have a birthmark just like that and then showed me the hideous scar that replaced it.
2008-06-27 14:54:57 / Rating: 121.25 /
Meg
As a child I wrote in my journal how much I hated my mother and wished I would die, but as an adult, when she told me she had read my childhood journal, I hated myself for writing such horrible things.
2008-06-30 13:24:30 / Rating: 112 /
Frog Kisser
When he sent the text asking if I was "nekkid," I wasn't sure if I was more offended by his question or his spelling.
2008-07-09 17:37:15 / Rating: 112 /