Secret Shame
When she burst out laughing at the sight of me naked, I had the feeling that it wasn't gonna happen.
2009-06-29 15:47:51 / Rating: 350.25 / 
Story archives - June 2009
Tito
I made something of myself and became respectable enough that no one could imagine my felony charges of 17 years ago.
2009-06-29 15:45:41 / Rating: 220 /
Joe
My grandmother once challenged me to a drinking contest, then proceeded to concoct an elaborate plan to cheat and win that involved her identical twin sister... and people wonder where I get it.
2009-06-29 15:44:57 / Rating: 445.75 /
Kristin
I made it all the way to Iroquois County before I finally burst into tears.
2009-06-29 15:43:14 / Rating: 142.5 /
e coli
My pit bull-rottweiler only eats cat treats and is scared of my eight pound cat.
2009-06-29 14:03:01 / Rating: 262 /
Lewis H.
Ronald Reagan's robe fell open in front of me and there he was naked as the day he was born.
2009-06-29 14:02:34 / Rating: 138.5 /
Ann
Quitting a job that you love is much harder when your boss starts crying in the middle of the conversation.
2009-06-26 13:51:22 / Rating: 340 /
yep
The first time I met my father was when he made a delivery to my house as a UPS worker.
2009-06-26 13:43:24 / Rating: 254.75 /
RingoW
My cat prefers dog food.
2009-06-26 13:42:48 / Rating: 118.5 /
TGB
When I arrived at my dad's house after hearing he had died of a heart attack, the first words my mother said to me were, "Did you tell your dad you are gay?"
2009-06-26 13:42:02 / Rating: 233.5 /
LUYD
Your band's first official gig is not the best time to learn that your drummer is epileptic.
2009-06-26 13:41:16 / Rating: 307.5 /
Jen
The first person to congratulate us on our engagement was a homeless guy who then proceeded to ask us for a dollar.
2009-06-24 12:40:40 / Rating: 269.75 /
Batman
My heart broke as I pulled the black cape around my neck and saw the tag that was labeled, "Does not enable you to fly."
2009-06-23 15:42:36 / Rating: 490 /
Molly
The first thing I noticed after my dog died was how much food was accumulating on the kitchen floor.
2009-06-23 15:40:44 / Rating: 291 /
abused
Five years later, I still have a scar of my husband's entire dental impression from when he bit my abdomen.
2009-06-23 09:56:06 / Rating: 123.25 /
Still Romantic
While my husband (then boyfriend) proposed, I could see a man standing on a picnic table and peeing into the bushes in my peripheral vision - but it was the best night of my life all the same.
2009-06-23 09:49:48 / Rating: 308.25 /
Dee
At our grand daughter's christening, my daughter-in-law introduced me to her cousin as, "This is my husband's dad's wife".
2009-06-22 15:28:26 / Rating: 141 /
Gemini
There is no cool way to puke.
2009-06-22 15:27:22 / Rating: 230 /
>.<
As I listened to my friends joke about bulemia, I wondered what they would say if they knew what I did every night after dinner.
2009-06-22 15:26:10 / Rating: 143.75 /
Thornton Wilder Award Winner
My dad stopped complaining about my bad grades when I won $100 for a short story I wrote out of boredom during math class.
2009-06-19 16:30:56 / Rating: 354.25 /
KC
A couple of times down the hot metal slide and no one would know that I had wet my pants.
2009-06-19 16:30:10 / Rating: 378.75 /
embarrassed
We thought we were being so sneaky with our teenage sex rendevous, until we walked up the stairs to his room and heard his dad say, "Better make it a quickie guys."
2009-06-19 16:30:01 / Rating: 334.5 /
Ellyn
My husband informed me that he isn't a kid anymore because he eats his snack packs with a spoon.
2009-06-19 16:28:05 / Rating: 241.25 /
Office Cat
"Isn't it a little early in the morning for Dr. Pepper?" she commented, sipping a cup of coffee.
2009-06-19 16:27:00 / Rating: 108.5 /
Confiture
I'm told the scar isn't noticeable, but I still hate that four-year-old girl I used to be for not putting her feet down.
2009-06-19 16:26:51 / Rating: 106.5 /
I'm impressed but also sleep deprived.
My hamster has cleverly figured out how to detatch his water bottle and throw it across the room loudly when he's thirsty.
2009-06-19 16:23:55 / Rating: 361.25 /
JJ
I was the maddest I had ever been when he forgot to wake me up for my doctor's appointment, until I found him sitting dead in his chair.
2009-06-19 16:23:27 / Rating: 270.25 /
Snares
I never thought a pie chart could destroy a marriage so quickly.
2009-06-19 16:22:26 / Rating: 143.75 /
Marie McCurdy
Last night I met a Recon Marine who moonlights as a clown at children's parties.
2009-06-19 08:55:36 / Rating: 217.25 /
Tactful
I was allowed to stand next to the grave whilst his best friends and co-workers, people who not only loved him but had actually met him, had to stay confined behind the flimsy wooden fence.
2009-06-19 08:54:27 / Rating: 111.75 /
Purple
I'm not sure if it's sexual harassment or just creepy that my boss calls me Spanky.
2009-06-19 08:53:01 / Rating: 118.25 /
JRB
I borrowed a power tool from my father in-law, but he died before I could return it.
2009-06-17 13:23:05 / Rating: 111.25 /
Kurt
My sister was obsessed with Ricky Martin until she had a dream that he stabbed and killed me.
2009-06-16 09:26:10 / Rating: 200.5 /
Paperclip
When my parents asked "Why did you two ever break up?" it might not have have been so painfully awkward if he hadn't been sitting right next to me.
2009-06-16 09:25:32 / Rating: 122.25 /
Caribou
He deflated my heart so I deflated his tires.
2009-06-16 09:23:00 / Rating: 431.75 /
Alexis
He de-tagged himself from all our photos together.
2009-06-16 09:21:34 / Rating: 192 /
Spazzed Out
I will never be able to see a McDonald's the same again.
2009-06-14 17:37:50 / Rating: 86.5 /
Kendra
When I went downstairs to use the internet I found my father passed out drunk in front of the computer, so I blogged over top of him.
2009-06-14 17:37:38 / Rating: 186 /
Tay-Tay
My mom frantically searched for me around the house to finally find me finishing off a big stick of butter.
2009-06-14 17:35:02 / Rating: 111 /
Ruby Soho
Apparently, getting absolutely smashed, calling him between pukes in the public bathroom, falling asleep on the street and waking up in his bed filled with mud was romantic only on my side.
2009-06-14 17:29:06 / Rating: 142.5 /
Alanna
The other mothers on the playground don't like me, even though they have no idea I'm the girl who gives their husbands $20 lap dances.
2009-06-14 17:23:30 / Rating: 295.75 /
Pablo72
Sitting comfortably on the couch the problems we were making for ourselves disolved slowly into the wine, in the light of day my conscience would have screamed the insanity of what I was doing.
2009-06-10 11:10:43 / Rating: 111.5 /
Nette
We almost broke up over whether or not to freeze bread.
2009-06-10 11:06:16 / Rating: 285.75 /
One little mistake
Having mistaken the Ben Gay for the KY is a error my wife has never let me forget.
2009-06-10 11:06:06 / Rating: 322.25 /
Curmic189
I wondered why someone would want with one extra drumstick, then realized "buy two get one free" probably refers to pairs.
2009-06-10 11:04:53 / Rating: 121.75 /
The one who is
I never realized organism and orgasm are such close words, until the day i made my science presentation.
2009-06-10 11:00:03 / Rating: 305 /
Alex
After our older son declared his desire to be a veterinarian, the seven-year-old said, "I want to be a Chinese man."
2009-06-10 10:59:45 / Rating: 512.25 /
a beautiful disaster
Sledding was great until the tree got in my way.
2009-06-08 11:43:09 / Rating: 153 /
Defendant
I never hated an old lady until I hit one with my car.
2009-06-08 11:40:43 / Rating: 137.5 /
naco228
Due to the ringworm on my back that I never noticed, I had to tell my parents that my wrestling season was over after they had driven an hour to come see me.
2009-06-08 11:38:32 / Rating: 78.75 /
Del
I went to the freezer for some tortilla wraps and found a dead owl in there instead.
2009-06-08 11:38:07 / Rating: 290 /
A.A.
The only reason I feel like calling my biological father is that he forgot my birthday and I know he'll send me a lot of cash to apologize.
2009-06-08 11:37:29 / Rating: 164.75 /
a fly on the wall
It only took 48 hours for my dad to start with the same tired old arguments, and likewise it only took 48 hours for me to start counting down the days until school starts again.
2009-06-08 11:34:49 / Rating: 151.25 /
Mom
I sneak into my son's room at night to smell his bad breath, because of a book I read where the father somehow knew his son was going to die because of his sweet breath.
2009-06-05 10:43:14 / Rating: 133.25 /
Aimee
After the third time I was asked if my regular outfit was my costume for the play, I figured my sense of style was lost on my peers.
2009-06-05 10:42:14 / Rating: 168.25 /
Uncle Jesse
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
2009-06-05 10:38:07 / Rating: 236 /
i've had better judgment
Imagine my relief in my decision to sit on the grass when the rock beside me got up and walked away, presumably to go play with the other bobcats.
2009-06-05 10:35:45 / Rating: 400 /
Jason
May my dearest sister rot in hell for what she did to a 3-year-old boy.
2009-06-02 13:11:34 / Rating: 307 /
Aly
It was when I attempted to commit suicide at Wal-Mart that she realized I needed help.
2009-06-02 13:09:54 / Rating: 148 /
Don
In 30 minutes I'd gone from elation from being offered the job I'd always wanted to holding a dying man's hand as he bled out behind the train that had hit him.
2009-06-02 13:09:46 / Rating: 249 /
s. c. amory
I realized that I was placating my drunken mother the same way I used pacify to my drunken college friends.
2009-06-02 08:29:47 / Rating: 136 /
Taffy
He asked me, 'What's your name again?' and I wanted to tell him not only my name but that I've been stalking him on Facebook for the last seven months.
2009-06-02 08:28:32 / Rating: 188.5 /
Kem
The night I decided to give you my virginity was the night that showed me how much you didn't deserve it.
2009-06-02 08:26:55 / Rating: 260.75 /