kiley
You would think that the weirdest thing about my family is that my step grandma is younger then my mom, but in fact it the strange thing is that she is sleeping with my mom's brother.
2008-01-31 12:09:51 / Rating: 319 / 
Story archives - January 2008
DJDawson
On her deathbed, she reached for my hand despite not knowing exactly who I was and with a thin but honest smile, asked, "However did you escape?"
2008-01-31 12:09:26 / Rating: 363.5 /
dancingn27
I am sitting in a hotel wondering what that gross SPLAT-like stain is on the ceiling.
2008-01-31 12:08:42 / Rating: 124.5 /
Really
He said sorry as he left.
2008-01-31 12:08:22 / Rating: 206.5 /
Carrie
I woke up naked next to my friend with three hundred dollars in chips in my hand and thought, "I love Vegas."
2008-01-31 12:08:08 / Rating: 215 /
Babylon
My parents filed for divorce on my brother's birthday but waited to tell us until mine that next week.
2008-01-31 12:06:43 / Rating: 274.5 /
The Guru
I nearly fell off my bike laughing after seeing the standard poodle sniffing around on the housetop without a care in the world, particularly to that of gravity.
2008-01-31 12:06:27 / Rating: 220.5 /
Ellen
My prom date threw up on the prom queen.
2008-01-31 12:05:43 / Rating: 258.25 /
Patricia
It really irritates me when people talk about how grossly fat Britney is now, because I am shaped like that and don't consider myself fat.
2008-01-29 15:31:14 / Rating: 290.25 /
Sid
I was at the dentist and I burped, then he told me what I had for breakfast.
2008-01-29 15:30:56 / Rating: 325.5 /
KC
I realized all too late that I only had half the chocolate chips the recipe called for, so I stopped making cookies and started making sweet biscuits.
2008-01-29 15:30:35 / Rating: 117 /
Shuko
To this day I cannot comprehend why my parents laughed when I told them I wished I'd never been born.
2008-01-29 15:30:26 / Rating: 239.75 /
Jen M
I just figured out I'm never gonna be Dooce.
2008-01-29 15:29:37 / Rating: 165.25 /
Kurtus
I farted in the kitchen and my roommate broke her toe.
2008-01-29 15:28:54 / Rating: 232.25 /
Carley
Yesterday, someone made my day.
2008-01-29 15:28:29 / Rating: 114.75 /
ViolinGirl
I knew I'd chosen the right career when I got my first check and my initial reaction was, "What's this for?"
2008-01-29 15:28:07 / Rating: 430.75 /
UnlikelyMom
Imagine my two girls as they opened up their exciting Christmas toy, squeezed goop into molds, put the mold into the oven, then waited, and waited, and waited, realizing that there was no heat, no light bulb, and would be no bug - just a bunch of disappointing goo.
2008-01-25 13:21:04 / Rating: 210.5 /
Wednesday
Nobody will ever believe that I lost my virginity to a rapist, because at the time I tried to deal with it by dating him for a month and pretending that it had all been my idea.
2008-01-25 13:19:48 / Rating: 412.5 /
John Pynchon
I rewrote the Twilight Zone story "The Rip Van Winkle Caper" as part of my English exam and got an A+.
2008-01-25 13:18:25 / Rating: 187 /
Kyza
They had swaddled the newborn so it appeared to be sleeping, and as I walked by the crying from the other side of the door, I found myself leaving to go hold my own newborn son.
2008-01-25 13:18:00 / Rating: 214 /
that's not good
My girlfriend "play" bit me on the arm so hard that I "not-so-play" struck her in the head before I could stop myself.
2008-01-25 13:17:24 / Rating: 240.5 /
Joy
Teachers hate Field Day even more than students love it.
2008-01-25 13:16:52 / Rating: 189.5 /
Shattered Image
When my "innocent" best friend decided to go as for as she did on her first date, it shattered the image I always held of her and simultaniously planted the doubts that destroyed the friendship we had built for ages.
2008-01-25 13:16:21 / Rating: 181.25 /
Ryan
The kid at the checkout decided it was efficient and eco-friendly to pack my bag of potatoes into a separate plastic bag... by itself.
2008-01-23 17:16:36 / Rating: 181.25 /
Erik
Moving sucks.
2008-01-23 12:03:34 / Rating: 288.5 /
Drawn by children.
I didn't want to let him go so badly that I told him this could be 'just a sex thing', something I regretted in the morning when I woke up alone with a pounding head and a black eye.
2008-01-23 12:02:05 / Rating: 232.75 /
Joel
I gave a girl in high school a hand-drawn Valentine's card and she told her friends she was 'gonna puke', so my nickname was 'Chuck' after that.
2008-01-23 11:59:54 / Rating: 212.5 /
Times Change
As you trip me in the hallway I remember the summers of our childhood where we vowed to be best friends forever.
2008-01-23 11:59:37 / Rating: 350.25 /
IE
After having to reach into the toilet more than once to retrieve my school ID, you would think I would have learned not to tuck it into my pajama pants
2008-01-23 11:57:52 / Rating: 196.5 /
IE
There is nothing more uncomfortable for an atheist than being asked to pray out loud for the extremely Christian cousin she is reluctantly standing up for.
2008-01-23 11:57:43 / Rating: 250 /
Sleepy...
Sleep deprivation writes some of the best college papers.
2008-01-23 11:56:46 / Rating: 415.75 /
Impulse
Today I acted on an impulse and took the batteries out of my electric toothbrush, using it as if it were a regular toothbrush.
2008-01-22 20:51:20 / Rating: 223.25 /
Isabel
After spending hours searching the internet for information on a band, I stopped liking them the second I discovered they were an alternative Christian group.
2008-01-22 18:15:09 / Rating: 214.5 /
Ol
While on my way to the office this morning, I realised I really should be less careful when crossing the road.
2008-01-22 18:13:54 / Rating: 236.25 /
Oops
She caught me watching lesbian porn and now hasn't spent the night in our room in two weeks.
2008-01-22 18:12:55 / Rating: 209.5 /
Murphy's Lawyer
I got scammed out of $70 by two Chinese strangers in a teahouse in Shanghai, but I still had more fun with them than I have with any other members of my American study abroad group.
2008-01-22 18:12:40 / Rating: 189.25 /
DeWeese
I let the students convince me to let them watch a movie, then I assigned them an essay to write about it.
2008-01-22 18:12:18 / Rating: 180.25 /
stormi
I cried not because of the amount of the inheritance, but because I can't cash it in to bring her back.
2008-01-22 18:11:42 / Rating: 280.75 /
heh heh...
Ever since my electric toothbrush turned on in my bookbag that morning, I've been getting weird looks from people in my English class.
2008-01-22 18:11:34 / Rating: 308.25 /
spacegirl
He gently suggested that perhaps I consider broadening my cheese horizons and I almost burst into tears.
2008-01-18 10:52:54 / Rating: 268.75 /
Eerie
Her first attempt at CPR shouldn't have to have been on her own mother.
2008-01-18 10:52:35 / Rating: 249.25 /
jroz
I lose my heart to one hundred students a day, while wondering how long I can survive.
2008-01-18 10:52:04 / Rating: 195 /
Not 'Too Cool' for Retrospect
I should have stopped smoking cigarettes when I started liking them.
2008-01-18 10:51:55 / Rating: 179 /
BigSis
Mom and Dad were separated prematurely as teenagers by her father, and it took a lifetime, several marriages and children for them to find each other again and be happy.
2008-01-18 10:51:49 / Rating: 281.75 /
Bored and hurting in engineering.
"You're way, way over-dramatic," was what the text read.
2008-01-18 10:50:49 / Rating: 133.25 /
Icki
I walked to my car after rehearsals to find a red rose laying on my windshield.
2008-01-18 10:50:27 / Rating: 219.75 /
Crow
Was the five minutes you spent waiting to put the gum in my hair worth the twenty seconds I'll spend coating your locker in aerosol cheese?
2008-01-18 10:46:25 / Rating: 387.75 /
Not Your Personal Assistant
I started to have a panic attack about not really being in love with him anymore, but I still continued to make our wedding registry.
2008-01-18 10:45:02 / Rating: 205 /
Jess
Packing to go back to school, I can't remember where I hid my handcuffs.
2008-01-18 10:44:50 / Rating: 224 /
ZenRubble
Listening to the faint tones the audiologist sent through my headset only confirmed my suspicion that playing every night in a rock band had ruined my hearing.
2008-01-18 10:42:05 / Rating: 92.25 /
Stan
My dad was slowly bleeding to death by the roadside some 100 meters away when I was washing the dishes for the first time in my life.
2008-01-16 14:45:17 / Rating: 321.5 /
Steiv
I wore a purple, snakeskin-patterned mumu and a pink hair bow to see "Hairspray" at the movie theatre, but, once I got there, I decided to see "Transformers" instead.
2008-01-16 14:44:21 / Rating: 245.75 /
1up
I realized what irony was when I reached for my box of birth control hidden in a baby's onesie.
2008-01-16 14:21:53 / Rating: 260.25 /
NoSex
I saw my grandmother's death, the grandmother I had lived with until the seventh grade, as merely an opportunity to miss school.
2008-01-16 14:21:29 / Rating: 235.75 /
Melodious
My co-worker, who is named Patience, is the most stressed out person I know.
2008-01-16 14:20:08 / Rating: 203.25 /
Ryan
My Mom went to a peace rally and then voted for Bush.
2008-01-16 14:19:59 / Rating: 250.5 /
Jess
Now I really have to work out this year because I accidentally dried my jeans on hot.
2008-01-16 14:19:32 / Rating: 270.25 /
Uclue.com
My quality of life is inversely proportional to the number of keys on my keyring.
2008-01-16 14:18:24 / Rating: 210.75 /
DeiLeited
I used to be able to play four hours straight of badminton, but one Sunday, when I could barely keep my eyes open, I realised that I needed to start eating again.
2008-01-14 17:39:16 / Rating: 267.5 /
jal
It wasn't until after we broke up that I knew I'd marry him someday.
2008-01-14 17:38:25 / Rating: 309.5 /
ME++
Sadly, my 6 year old son has a love life that outruns mine by light years.
2008-01-14 17:26:58 / Rating: 233 /
lazy
I'm so out of shape that I'm sore from bowling.
2008-01-14 17:26:29 / Rating: 290 /
Leoainey
The girls are all grown up and now my husband is my boyfriend again.
2008-01-14 17:25:54 / Rating: 435.5 /
AnonPotGuy
We moved and now I can't grow pot.
2008-01-14 17:23:59 / Rating: 269.25 /
DeWeese
I had never truly understood the taste of lemonade until I counted the number of times my name showed up in her diary.
2008-01-14 17:23:34 / Rating: 283 /
not a rugger hugger
Marshall was right, nothing good ever happens after 2AM.
2008-01-14 17:23:22 / Rating: 230.5 /
Ahera
Actually, I do know where that new dent in your car came from.
2008-01-11 14:09:25 / Rating: 386.5 /
Sasha
I raced down the bumpy, old, forest road in my mother's shiny new red car as my boyfriend's best friend chased behind me on his dirt bike.
2008-01-11 14:09:00 / Rating: 200.25 /
limey
It was wrong of me assume that by lying and telling the lady that I had, in fact, found Jesus she would not want to talk to me.
2008-01-11 14:08:21 / Rating: 271.75 /
Kate
I've chopped off two fingertips in the last 3 months, and never once regretted my career choice.
2008-01-11 14:00:45 / Rating: 360.5 /
Sunshine
After I insisted he finish the leftover tomato soup that "tasted funny," I remembered I ate the rest of soup for lunch yesterday.
2008-01-11 13:59:01 / Rating: 284.75 /
Queen of Cupcakes
The young lady who bought my '78 Toyota Celica for three grand paid for it with fives and tens and four jars of linty coins.
2008-01-11 13:58:27 / Rating: 286.75 /
scarlett
Lots of things remind me of you, like paper-cuts, couples fighting in the supermarket, and oil spills.
2008-01-11 13:56:59 / Rating: 292.5 /
mundane
I realized how mundane my job was when I received an email from my brother in Iraq stating, "A mortar hit two trailers down, but thank God it didn't detonate."
2008-01-08 10:17:33 / Rating: 343.5 /
No Secret
Our father's favourite game of deserting us in public places strengthened our sibling bond.
2008-01-08 10:16:35 / Rating: 418.25 /
No Secret
Gas the cat was rescued from the pound as a kitten along with his brother Chambers.
2008-01-08 10:16:27 / Rating: 258.25 /
Ed Kaz
The bus stalled under an overpass on the turnpike this morning.
2008-01-08 10:15:28 / Rating: 171.25 /
Regretful Lack of Attention
My best friend hung himself on a Friday afternoon, and when I checked my cell phone the morning of his funeral I realized he had called me that day at 3:24PM.
2008-01-02 15:30:08 / Rating: 729.25 /
cantgetoverHim
It's been over a year and sometimes I still read his love letters like it's the first time I've ever read them.
2008-01-02 15:29:34 / Rating: 340.75 /
countedx58
As an adoptee, few things piss me off more than other adoptees who think that finding their birth parents will fix everything that's wrong in their lives.
2008-01-02 15:23:38 / Rating: 337 /
Why?
Why did I ever get into the car with them that night?
2008-01-01 11:55:27 / Rating: 266 /
Feelslikerain
"Happy new year," I said to the empty room.
2008-01-01 11:54:48 / Rating: 461 /
compulsively complulsed
I manifested OCD by playing the same three notes over and over for a straight hour, six days a week, for months on end...but no one understood.
2008-01-01 11:54:26 / Rating: 234.25 /
Dormouse
Puking up that champagne was really my head ridding my life of 2007.
2008-01-01 11:53:39 / Rating: 267 /