Amy
Afterwards, I accidentally blurted out, "That was better!"
2007-09-29 00:22:03 / Rating: 438.75 / 
Story archives - September 2007
MJ
Last Sunday, waiting in line to receive the Eucharist, I finally realized I'm an atheist.
2007-09-28 17:12:01 / Rating: 495.5 /
how i'd like to be credited
To calm myself down, before I closed my eyes that night I said to myself, "You love him, he loves you, and that's all that really matters."
2007-09-28 17:11:27 / Rating: 276 /
creditplease
To this day I still entertain the idea that my father's death was just an awful conspiracy.
2007-09-28 17:10:50 / Rating: 330.25 /
Lorilou
My trust in the postal system was destroyed the day we received dead cockroaches in the mail.
2007-09-28 17:10:28 / Rating: 310.75 /
P9L9
My %$#$ puppy ate another &$^# cell phone today because my $&#^ daughter left it out where he could get it.
2007-09-28 17:10:19 / Rating: 224.5 /
Missay
I wonder who The Guy Wearing the Bowler Hat had to shag to get three sentences posted in a row.
2007-09-28 17:09:25 / Rating: 305.25 /
Mollyanne O'Hogan
I hope he meets her at bible college and that they get married and start a church on one of the unreached street corners of Moosejaw, Saskatchewan.
2007-09-28 17:08:35 / Rating: 201.75 /
Loneliest of men
What if, for me, socializing has sincerely become a chore, a burden to have to deal with during times when I can't enjoy solitude?
2007-09-28 17:07:43 / Rating: 366 /
Theoretical Theory
After just two months, I want to marry her but I still haven't even told her that I love her.
2007-09-28 17:07:26 / Rating: 310 /
friday's child
When she realized she was upsetting me by flirting with my beau, she started hitting on me instead.
2007-09-28 17:07:07 / Rating: 232.25 /
Venus
I was just thinking that I have never heard him speak when he looked up at the board and said in an almost musical voice, "That's a big number."
2007-09-28 12:34:28 / Rating: 296.5 /
Lola
I finally talked to her today and the whole time pretended we were sisters-in-law.
2007-09-28 12:34:05 / Rating: 183.5 /
Rob
I have never seen the man in Boston who bares his disfigured foot hoping for a handout actually receive any money from the white-collar commuters passing by.
2007-09-28 12:32:55 / Rating: 214.25 /
Sam
He told me so many nice things, but did so many bad things.
2007-09-28 12:32:46 / Rating: 280.5 /
honey
I blame most of my social inadequacies on being an only child.
2007-09-28 12:32:42 / Rating: 148.75 /
not so good with the pets
I felt terrible telling my son that his second mouse "ran away" with the help of the first mouse who had done the same.
2007-09-27 16:28:08 / Rating: 341.75 /
Dormouse
If it weren't for all the songs about suicide, I wouldn't be here.
2007-09-27 12:31:50 / Rating: 319 /
Rachel
Cleaning your sneakers while sitting in front of a small oscillating fan in a dorm room is probably not what they intended by "use in a well-ventilated area."
2007-09-27 12:31:39 / Rating: 234.25 /
Juju
He was so cute that I ignored his E sharp.
2007-09-27 12:29:17 / Rating: 244.75 /
Juju
Well, when the weird kid brings a M-16 to school, at least I won't be the first shot.
2007-09-27 12:29:09 / Rating: 314.25 /
Juju
She was too drunk to notice how drunk I was.
2007-09-27 12:28:59 / Rating: 332 /
Erzulie
I think that I must be the only one who observes soberly dressed office workers on their way to and from work and wonders if they are wearing brightly coloured underwear beneath their suits.
2007-09-27 12:28:46 / Rating: 371.5 /
Erzulie
It's undeniable: I DO get a strange thrill out of going to the gas station in the middle of the night to buy ice cream in my pyjamas.
2007-09-27 12:27:59 / Rating: 270 /
Nathan Tyree
Had I known that it would end with me digging a ragged, dog sized hole under the shade of the cedar tree, I would not have answered my phone.
2007-09-27 12:25:49 / Rating: 153.75 /
don't breed your dog
If I see another dog get dumped at the shelter, I just might save it or kill myself.
2007-09-26 07:57:38 / Rating: 293.75 /
stickman
It's not particularly motivating when you're trying to write out how you feel about her, only to have iTunes find every song about failed love on your computer and play them in uncanny succession.
2007-09-26 07:57:31 / Rating: 390 /
Jill
"Ya, 'sall good man," is not an appropriate response to a declaration of affection.
2007-09-26 01:09:45 / Rating: 273 /
Juju
I'm glad you got my pinkeye.
2007-09-26 01:09:21 / Rating: 219.75 /
Aj
Phone sex was almost as awkward as meeting him for the first time in person the next day.
2007-09-26 01:09:16 / Rating: 280.5 /
That girl
I deleted my Facebook account when my past wall posts started ruining my current relationship.
2007-09-26 01:07:08 / Rating: 337.5 /
Jenn
When she introduced herself, we were in the ladies locker room and we were both nude.
2007-09-26 01:06:59 / Rating: 236.5 /
MJHawk
I didn't know I was pregnant, but now that I've lost it, I won't ever tell him because I refuse to let a baby be a trump card.
2007-09-26 01:06:25 / Rating: 346.75 /
Prince Albert
She put a monster sticker over my face in every one, but she kept the pictures up because she thinks looks good in them.
2007-09-26 01:06:15 / Rating: 211 /
Aranda
I find reasons why I can't visit his grave because I'm terrified it will make everything come rushing back.
2007-09-24 09:34:06 / Rating: 248.25 /
lovefatewrite
It seemed quite fitting that he lived on a dead-end street.
2007-09-24 09:33:42 / Rating: 338.75 /
Doug Young
I've stopped dancing on my work desk after hours ever since I learned anyone can see right through the blinds.
2007-09-24 09:32:59 / Rating: 286.5 /
Ray
I was preparing to call her weeaboo for writing her thread title in Japanese until I realized that I was actually angry at her for forming a question without using the word ka.
2007-09-24 09:32:03 / Rating: 281.5 /
Jenna
He needed that dollar for parking so he smashed the money maze puzzle with a baseball bat.
2007-09-24 09:31:11 / Rating: 322.75 /
caity.
When I came home, I saw my house cradling nine fallen pine trees; I shuddered.
2007-09-24 09:29:53 / Rating: 227.75 /
Stephanie
I still have a panic attack any time I see that particular shade of green.
2007-09-24 09:29:45 / Rating: 181.25 /
Sondari
Many people dream about visiting Japan during cherry blossom season, but no one tells you about the giant poisonous centipedes.
2007-09-24 09:28:43 / Rating: 331.75 /
Veronica
Today I ran three miles consecutively for the first time ever.
2007-09-24 09:28:35 / Rating: 317.75 /
Stella
After he died I've always avoided the cherry tree orchards.
2007-09-21 15:20:40 / Rating: 258 /
Raines
I find it ironic that each night I drive home to you, I pass the exit of the man you left me for.
2007-09-21 15:20:31 / Rating: 296.5 /
bubblegirl
After seeing the tears on my keyboard I now realize why they say office relationships are not a good idea.
2007-09-21 15:20:14 / Rating: 282.5 /
4L
The fact that I do more work than I need to to avoid going home makes me realize I need to get away for good.
2007-09-21 15:19:48 / Rating: 303 /
Gaby
When I called my friend after her husband died, I didn't think that she would end up consoling me.
2007-09-21 15:19:24 / Rating: 339 /
incogkneetoe
I finally realized I had to leave when he admitted he threw our four year old across the room after he had finished the fifth of whiskey.
2007-09-21 15:19:03 / Rating: 343.25 /
Wishin' for an epidural
Having a baby feels like trying to push a freight train up a mountain with your hoo-ha.
2007-09-21 15:18:36 / Rating: 329 /
Schaaz
As I struggled with my human anatomy studies, I realized that I now knew the most effective way to slit my wrists.
2007-09-19 15:07:54 / Rating: 378 /
literatelibra
In those days, what kid knew that spilled mercury was not a fun toy to be shared with your friends?
2007-09-19 15:07:21 / Rating: 151.25 /
Sioux
I realised at that moment as I wiped tears of laughter from my eyes after spying the ridiculus outfit the goth kid was wearing, that in my old age I'd become the person I used to hate.
2007-09-19 15:06:32 / Rating: 335.25 /
lush
After waking up next to my ex-boyfriend with someone else's name emblazoned on my hand in permanent marker, I realized I should lay off the 99 bananas.
2007-09-19 15:06:03 / Rating: 290 /
Spike
The same year I started cutting in high school, Christmas lost its magic.
2007-09-19 15:05:30 / Rating: 292.5 /
backatya
I left my ex-wife for her and then later she left me for my ex-wife.
2007-09-19 15:04:27 / Rating: 544.25 /
ivana
I turned the stove on to boil some water and four hours later I found the teapot melted to the burner.
2007-09-19 15:03:35 / Rating: 366 /
Kiiiile
In the month since I've started my new job I've been paid more then I ever have in my life but have yet to be given anything to work on.
2007-09-19 15:03:10 / Rating: 306.25 /
Rachel
On graduation day, I gave my worst enemy since sixth grade a two-page poem that explained I hadn't ever really hated him.
2007-09-19 15:02:38 / Rating: 324.25 /
overworked
I've just realized being a wage slave does not fit in my scheme of things.
2007-09-19 15:02:29 / Rating: 255.5 /
Xin
I'm not a Muslim, but he is, and I want to show him that I can be just as strong, so we're both fasting for Ramadan.
2007-09-19 15:02:02 / Rating: 281.5 /
Marcy
Even though it was given jokingly, the hug beneath the street lamp changed my summer just as much as his first hello.
2007-09-18 13:14:21 / Rating: 264.5 /
Katrina
Listening to the brown-nosers exude pretentious flattery for William Wordsworth, all I could think of was how much I wanted to fling rubberbands at their foreheads.
2007-09-18 13:14:11 / Rating: 290.75 /
IE
Had I gone back to sleep when I saw his number, he'd be dead, but I still feel like a bad friend.
2007-09-18 13:13:54 / Rating: 374.25 /
Nny
I wished I would have kissed you in front of my mother, just to show her that her God-fearing ways haven't affected me.
2007-09-18 13:13:27 / Rating: 375.5 /
Hanford
The skinny kitchen boy is utterly regal in that peacock blue bandanna.
2007-09-18 13:11:58 / Rating: 275.25 /
Rachel
Upon entering practice room 158 this morning to find a large penis scratched into the wood of the piano, I realized once again that college boys never do grow up.
2007-09-18 13:11:33 / Rating: 377.75 /
Bryan
I traveled around the world for a year and only felt lost once I arrived "home."
2007-09-18 13:11:12 / Rating: 402.5 /
Prince Albert
I hate that the last impressions those people will have of me are influenced by the disgusting lies she told.
2007-09-18 13:10:59 / Rating: 257.5 /
Ahera
During that five minute conversation, he gave me fourteen "I'm so sorry"s, seven "I'll never do it again"s, and three "What can I do to make it up to you?"s, and I gave him about nine sarcastic "mhm"s.
2007-09-18 13:10:14 / Rating: 337.5 /
Jason L. Dunlap
I found a rolled up rug on the side of the road in New Jersey and it turned out to be the perfect woven tapestry for my kitchen.
2007-09-17 11:05:34 / Rating: 210.25 /
SHS TaylorM
Looking across the room at the laundry room door, you could see the deep orange glow from the ceiling to the floor.
2007-09-17 11:04:01 / Rating: 180 /
SHS AlexG
Basically, we shouldn't have been let into the country.
2007-09-17 11:03:53 / Rating: 186.25 /
MamaXT
The first time my baby cried, I woke up from my 8 hour anesthesia coma, sat up in bed, and said "give me my baby."
2007-09-13 14:29:42 / Rating: 341.25 /
Bethany
Was Stuart worth the blood in my shoes?
2007-09-13 14:29:08 / Rating: 257.75 /
Dawn
I felt embarrassed for not reading the FAQ first and submitting such a tired sentence.
2007-09-13 14:27:12 / Rating: 208.25 /
notcase
When I saw the shrine to "us" that he created in the study, I finally knew that our relationship was over.
2007-09-13 14:25:58 / Rating: 226.25 /
how i'd like to be credited
Though my voice may have seemed calm over the phone, I didn't want you to know that I was really sobbing.
2007-09-13 13:56:48 / Rating: 279.75 /
Weirdo
Sometimes when I'm home alone I talk to myself, then answer in another voice just to make conversation.
2007-09-13 13:56:05 / Rating: 430 /
Christie
I should've known it would be a long day when I managed to lock myself out of my apartment twice before 7am.
2007-09-13 13:55:35 / Rating: 316.25 /
Kevin
I took down the pictures of her, carefully looking at only the corners.
2007-09-13 13:55:26 / Rating: 411.5 /
Ryan
I accidentally brewed my tea for two hours, yet it still tastes OK.
2007-09-13 13:54:03 / Rating: 242.25 /
Lily of the Valley
As I stared in disbelief at the bright blue screen before me, my only coherent thought was that five BSODs in a week could only mean there was something very, very wrong with my new laptop.
2007-09-13 13:52:48 / Rating: 294 /
Delilah
It was the third morning in a row she had awoken from the same dream and knew, as she looked at her boyfriend sleeping next to her, that dreaming about another guy shouldn't have felt so right.
2007-09-13 13:52:38 / Rating: 319 /
Texas Honkey
I am a 25-year-old journalist who graduated high school with honors, is finishing up my English degree and I can't spell the word calander.
2007-09-13 13:51:26 / Rating: 321.25 /
I Heart Chocolate
I never liked food containing anything soy until the realization that they help me lose weight.
2007-09-13 13:51:16 / Rating: 264 /
Courtney
I sat in the last row of the crowded plane, realizing I had gotten on the wrong flight.
2007-09-13 13:49:36 / Rating: 289 /
Robin
My life changed because I couldn't find the visitor parking lot at the University of Oklahoma one day in 1980.
2007-09-11 12:58:04 / Rating: 217.5 /
Carlota
We've been together for three years, but we don't consider ourselves lesbians.
2007-09-11 12:57:54 / Rating: 326.5 /
Rhea
Turning 49, she supposed, was preferable to being dead.
2007-09-11 12:57:13 / Rating: 243 /
Rob
It's sad that my mother's cancer-filled dog seemed more frisky and alert on the day before he was put to sleep than he had been in years.
2007-09-11 12:56:24 / Rating: 377.25 /
Tmyakal
I'd never been as bored as I was on our first date, but I'm taking her out again tomorrow night so that I don't need to be alone.
2007-09-11 12:56:02 / Rating: 269.75 /
Lydia
I was no more acquainted with the definition of clarity than when the music slowed down and he turned to face me, stopping the world from moving and changing my life forever.
2007-09-11 12:55:48 / Rating: 227.25 /
a
This was the last night they slept in their beds.
2007-09-11 12:55:29 / Rating: 220.25 /
Sigh
I thought the anti-depressants were working until I came back to work.
2007-09-10 12:11:12 / Rating: 299.25 /
credited
I was more depressed about packing my things because of the prospect of unpacking them instead of what I knew I was leaving behind.
2007-09-10 12:10:33 / Rating: 244.25 /
Juju
The cardboard paper camel I made my stepfather for his birthday is still hanging on the wall, left and abandoned, like us.
2007-09-10 12:10:19 / Rating: 319.5 /
Tori
One thing I used to obsess about was how I'd get my dog out of my window to save him when my house was on fire.
2007-09-10 12:09:25 / Rating: 347.25 /
Kate
I never spoke to him again because he was dating eight other women.
2007-09-10 12:08:47 / Rating: 280.5 /
Dudette
He laughed and told me I was still gorgeous after the freshly speared cuttlefish inked me in the face.
2007-09-10 12:08:29 / Rating: 320.5 /
A Passer By...
I see this boy walking to school every morning and sometimes I think he'll be the next high school shooter.
2007-09-10 12:07:50 / Rating: 271 /
The Cereal Sympathiser
As a child, I used to eat all my cereal in case I hurt the feelings of any pieces of left-behind cereal.
2007-09-07 22:45:38 / Rating: 558 /
jfirth
No sound compares in fury or power to the sound of a woman pushing a baby through the birth canal without the aid of drugs.
2007-09-07 22:44:58 / Rating: 296.25 /
...
I was a row behind her at his wake, two at his funeral, and across the table at the dinner but I never told her I slept with him while they were dating.
2007-09-07 22:43:40 / Rating: 258.25 /
amuse
He wants me to forget, but I can't even begin to forgive.
2007-09-07 22:43:13 / Rating: 262.5 /
Pheobus
Anyone else would have screamed too if a possum tried to climb up their shorts.
2007-09-07 22:42:53 / Rating: 321 /
Juju
A warning to teachers: never leave coffee ungaurded.
2007-09-07 22:42:31 / Rating: 244.25 /
if only...
I should have known the relationship was doomed when he told me I seemed like the kind of girl who'd take her shirt off at a rock concert.
2007-09-07 22:42:02 / Rating: 308.5 /