Tony
When he died, my life ever after was lived with an asterisk next to the events in my life that would have been better had he been there.
When he died, my life ever after was lived with an asterisk next to the events in my life that would have been better had he been there.
I'm pretty sure I just dropped a pushpin on the floor and I know my roommate will step on it.
After three nights of passing out drunk and bleeding, I decided it might be time to talk to someone.
I knew it would be a bad day when the bagel place told me they would have to fill the rest of my coffee cup with decaf.
You think I can't track your lies, but what you haven't realized is that I've been reading all your emails ever since we split up.
I found you asleep cuddling with my best friend, so I stole your shoes and buried them in the snow.
A mix of anxiety and euphoria exploded within me the moment I placed the needle on the record.
After the bizarre 4" of snow last week, it was utterly blissful to spend this afternoon hiking in the 45 degree sunshine.
Despite our height difference, we found he can still comfortably kiss me goodnight if I stand on the third stair up at the front door.
My eyes watered and I got all choked up as the officer checked off the "FAIL" box on my road test application for the 2nd time this week.
12 job applications in less than a week, and not one phonecall.
I would never believe that my ex-wife's new boyfriend's wife would be my new wife.
I would never tell my family this, but I blame my father's wife for his death.
Just as I was beginning to have hope that maybe life here has meaning, I was reassured that as a student in public high school, I have no rights.
The best benefit of being good is that you can get away with almost anything.
You turned to look at your computer screen, and I knew that everything I had said meant about as much to you as your last game of solitaire.
The frigid stage seemed to vibrate, causing me to tremble throughout the audition.
I decided not to give him my number when he asked "Yo girl, can I getcho digits?!"
The nudity requirement seemed like a fair way to decide who, of the party's 30+ attendees, would get to play the Wii.
"Today," she decided, "today I will wash my sheets."
Falling in love with a homophobe was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done.
I was 42 and single when I got pregnant for the first time and my very religious parents surprised me by being happy rather than disowning me.
Asking a software engineer to fix your computer is like asking an historian what he did last night.
I'd never have guessed the girl I didn't know sitting to my right at the baseball game would become the love of my life and the woman of my dreams.
I was so desperate for human affection that I had alienated all of my friends in the process.
As I sat numbly answering the phone, i realized how unfair it is that something you have absolutely no control over can make you so miserable you don't enjoy anything anymore.
And there she left me clueless, on the eve of her mother's wedding day.
Your child is yours until you invite the goverment into your life to determine who she actually belongs to.
When David and I decided to switch partners, the girls agreed and took off together, leaving us behind.
I went on the page again, only to see that none of my sentences were posted.
When I handed the final exam back to her, I asked, "Did you study"?
I had a crush on him because he was good at Physics, and for no other reason.
As I sat on the couch in my boxer shorts, watching football and having nothing of import to do, I realized once and for all that I actually enjoy being single.
I seriously enjoyed being a clown, until I realized clowns aren't taken seriously.
When my best friend and the love of my life were both taken into police custody for the same crime, the saddest part was admitting to myself I knew who had done it.
I have been in Hawaii for four days and I have four dollars left.
As I read the note I wrote to myself three years ago, I wished that I could go back and talk to the girl I used to be.
As I heard his footsteps on the stairway, my heart was thumping as I hit alt-tab on the keyboard.
In one night I was introduced to James Joyce incarnate and kissed by many old men on tiptoe who couldn't seem to see over my breasts...
As I leaned to kiss her on the cheek, she decided the lips would be better, and my heart stopped mid-beat.
After I post this, I'm going to go tell the girl that I love, my best friend, that I never want to see her again because she can't love me back.
When we brought in the eighth cat for the second time, I remember thinking, "This is yet another step on the pathway to Crazy Cat Ladyhood."
Friends are there for you no matter what, unless they sleep with your boyfriend.
It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I never thought I would be left so alone.
Before I started to try getting pregnant I never would have thought I would have the strength to go through the treatments that I now consider a part of daily living.
The only time my father ever considered breaking the speed limit was on the highway to the hospital, where I was delivered ten minutes after arrival.