KC
I can't wait until "Cars" comes out on DVD because I am so sick of watching "Over the Hedge" non-stop.
2006-10-31 14:08:07 / Rating: 145 / 
Story archives - October 2006
KC
I would have caught that deep spiral if it wasn't for that pesky brick wall.
2006-10-31 14:07:59 / Rating: 142.5 /
traci
Bugs have been biting my face, and I got some weird gum disease here, but I'm still sad to be pulling out my US passport and going home, because there's really so much more love here than there is there.
2006-10-31 09:28:03 / Rating: 101 /
Someone else
He was too stupid to think of a proper insult, but then again, he did spray cologne in his own face.
2006-10-30 15:02:46 / Rating: 138.75 /
you know who i am
I knew that night at the Holiday Inn was a mistake, and that was confirmed by my never seeing her again.
2006-10-30 15:02:00 / Rating: 136.25 /
Sam
Well, I thought as I hit the floor in a daze, this is the last time I'll ever eat at *this* sushi bar.
2006-10-30 15:01:48 / Rating: 192.25 /
Lia
He thought he was invincible.
2006-10-30 00:21:08 / Rating: 596.75 /
Wogglebug
My parents thought I was disturbed when I went as a serial killer one year, but it was time the Trix Rabbit learned that no means no.
2006-10-30 00:20:23 / Rating: 237.5 /
Levontaun
We were having loads of fun with our Halloween pranks until the man with the shotgun told us he was not amused.
2006-10-27 11:49:45 / Rating: 166 /
Row
I tormented her while she lived but she died and I'm the one left in turmoil.
2006-10-25 11:04:10 / Rating: 216.75 /
Eureka
There's this really odd old nasty cheese-like smell that reminds me of him because it's what the park bench smelled like on our first date.
2006-10-25 11:03:39 / Rating: 153.75 /
PezPyre
Using my $40 lightsaber, I fought with the mini-Darth Maul using my Sith-like mind tricks, and I won his bag of candy.
2006-10-25 11:03:15 / Rating: 180.75 /
SheRodent
I said I was Vegan, then I went and bought a hamburger and quickly threw it up.
2006-10-25 11:03:09 / Rating: 169 /
Ryan
Trick-or-treat bags in hand, we jumped into the woods to dodge the car that tried to hit us.
2006-10-24 13:28:10 / Rating: 100.25 /
The Black Cat
I tried to humor my family because I was so small and crawled into the highchair at the restaurant - and it was funny until they had to unscrew it to get me out of there.
2006-10-24 10:25:28 / Rating: 138 /
The Black Cat
When I told her that her friend thinks I am cheating on her, she laughed at me saying "She really knows nothing about the two of us."
2006-10-24 10:24:59 / Rating: 118.75 /
Kitt
One of the worst feelings in the world is when you realize you weren't really paranoid after all.
2006-10-24 10:24:29 / Rating: 269.5 /
Jack.Coiner
Except for the drool, poop, and hair loss, my dog is the greatest friend I've had.
2006-10-24 10:24:08 / Rating: 185 /
Levontaun
Nothing spells dismay as much as realizing at 80 miles an hour that your tire has come off.
2006-10-24 09:23:59 / Rating: 147.75 /
Levontaun
I really did like the fact that she knew far more about sex than I did, until I suddenly realized how she came to be that way.
2006-10-24 09:23:39 / Rating: 179.5 /
Robski
I once asked a girl where her DNA came from -- meaning Irish, Italian, etc. -- and she said from her parents.
2006-10-24 09:20:35 / Rating: 116.25 /
.mosugs
Everything was making a lot of sense until, three days before my bat mitzvah, my mother told me she was getting baptised.
2006-10-23 15:54:24 / Rating: 164 /
DeepEndZen
It's not the hangovers I fear the most, but the fact that I've lost a few hours of my life that I can never get back.
2006-10-23 09:35:17 / Rating: 181 /
Doom
My dad once told me, "Don't keep the Preparation H too close to the toothpaste," then, after a moment, I realized that he was serious.
2006-10-22 20:30:18 / Rating: 177 /
keethie
With a sigh masking her impatience, his wife replied, "If you are SO worried about it, just go take a shower instead of asking me!"
2006-10-22 15:33:10 / Rating: 81.25 /
Eva
My boyfriend thinks it's cool that I check women out with him, but what he doesn't know is that I am more gay than he can imagine.
2006-10-22 15:31:30 / Rating: 202 /
Eureka
My brother bet me $5 that you and I would grow old together, and two days later when you broke up with me I bought five boxes of the most bittersweet twinkies I have ever eaten in my life.
2006-10-22 01:34:27 / Rating: 283.75 /
Eureka
The first man to ever lend me clothing was outrageously gay, and he only gave me the socks so I wouldn't drag my wet ones on the floors.
2006-10-22 01:33:23 / Rating: 144.25 /
Lula Belle
At 24, I look around my old bedroom in my parent's house and wonder how I ended up here again.
2006-10-22 01:32:29 / Rating: 167.25 /
steve
I had five years to tell her I loved her, but I could only do it once I lived 300 miles away.
2006-10-19 00:33:57 / Rating: 129 /
Eureka
I didn't realize my house was on fire until a complete stranger opened the front door and I thought to myself over the high-bass classic rock, "Is someone downstairs cooking waffles?"
2006-10-19 00:32:13 / Rating: 180.25 /
DarklyScanned
He woke alone, left with nothing but his thoughts and a cold empty fridge which shuddered in the night and failed to keep the cockroaches out.
2006-10-19 00:29:48 / Rating: 80.75 /
rotten
I am broke and so is everything that I own.
2006-10-19 00:28:18 / Rating: 155.75 /
JoeOrdinary
After years of therapy through many different theories and techniques, my final diagnosis is that I'm not, as suspected, crazy, but merely weird.
2006-10-19 00:26:58 / Rating: 96 /
you know who i am
She got jealous when my sentence got accepted and none of hers did.
2006-10-19 00:25:30 / Rating: 133.25 /
Reba
Listening to the posturing of brilliant people, I wished I could tell them I would rather be watching TV.
2006-10-19 00:25:02 / Rating: 117.5 /
Erik
Two stitches and twenty years later, I still don't know why she threw the rock at me, but I'm pretty sure that she was lying when she said, "I was playing hopscotch and missed."
2006-10-18 14:28:22 / Rating: 246.25 /
Goldie
The only thing I think about when I sleep with my boyfriend is how much I wish he were my cousin.
2006-10-18 14:28:03 / Rating: 167.25 /
L
As I glanced into the mirror and mumbled, "I wish I could change my hair," I saw her in the mirror behind me whispering to herself, "I wish I could walk."
2006-10-18 14:27:36 / Rating: 156 /
Drew_Almighty
My wife and I promise each other that our love for one another will always come first, but now that our daughter is actually here we both know we're lying when we say it.
2006-10-18 14:27:23 / Rating: 237.75 /
chris
I grabbed my brothers leg from underneath an adjacent toilet cubicle in a foodcourt and he ran out screaming.
2006-10-18 14:27:10 / Rating: 182.75 /
Timothy
The diving alarm sounded, the deck dropped away like an elevator going down, my heart rose into my throat and I was officially a submarine sailor.
2006-10-18 14:26:46 / Rating: 96.25 /
Tina
It's the night before the insurance exam that I've spent three months preparing for, and I have a migraine.
2006-10-17 17:38:40 / Rating: 113.5 /
Finster
I'd gone to bed really annoyed about failing to find the party to crash, but in the morning when we heard about the double murder, I clearly remember that my first thought was that bad luck is often good luck in disguise.
2006-10-17 15:05:54 / Rating: 182 /
distressing e
I don't really want to be an engineer but I REALLY don't want to be a failure to my parents.
2006-10-17 09:59:56 / Rating: 199.25 /
Your Friend
You could have bought me a first class trip around the world, but it wouldn't have meant as much as your hand on my neck did last night.
2006-10-17 09:59:39 / Rating: 203.25 /
you know who i am
The only night he didn't say, "I'll see you tomorrow," was the night he passed away.
2006-10-16 17:16:03 / Rating: 182.25 /
Lisa
I held tightly on to the umbrella, not because I was afraid that the wind would take it from me, but because I was hoping that it would take me with it.
2006-10-16 16:40:42 / Rating: 166 /
Jonathan
As the eighth one in as many weeks clawed my back and squealed in my ear, it occurred to me that I loved the pretty girls much better back when they loved me not at all.
2006-10-16 14:51:53 / Rating: 136.75 /
revscrj
Two blocks of silence to the store we bought another EPT and a bottle of Rumplemintz, the big bottle.
2006-10-16 14:51:31 / Rating: 146.25 /
Robot Girl
I should be sleeping, but I keep thinkig about all of the things I need to do, should have done, and about how I don't want to screw everything up.
2006-10-16 14:51:10 / Rating: 248 /
Tina
My best friend was an evangelical athiest and eventually dumped me because I would not convert.
2006-10-16 13:30:54 / Rating: 133 /
Ryan
My prom date announced to me, "Man, I have nasty PMS" and I pretty much knew I wouldn't be getting any.
2006-10-16 13:02:48 / Rating: 161 /
Anonymous
As I look back on the last few minutes of my prom, the regret of not embracing her and kissing her eats away at my heart.
2006-10-16 13:01:19 / Rating: 115.5 /
Phil
As we were sitting there early on the morning of prom, she got out of my car and my heart hurt as I desperately tried to build up the courage to kiss her.
2006-10-16 13:00:57 / Rating: 141 /
Philip
My story hasn't been accepted by OneSentence.org and I'm asking myself if my life isn't even worth it to them.
2006-10-16 12:56:46 / Rating: 132.5 /
chris
I only joined the climbing club because I wanted a reason to talk to her, but really I'm scared of heights.
2006-10-16 12:56:02 / Rating: 194 /
you know who i am
My sister once caught me looking at her chest.
2006-10-16 12:54:36 / Rating: 193 /
elijah
Hell would be better.
2006-10-16 12:54:14 / Rating: 133.25 /
Ory'hara
My lover told me that she was drunk and wouldn't talk to me because of that, so I went to get drunk myself.
2006-10-16 12:53:56 / Rating: 129.25 /
Ory'hara
I once loved a girl more then anything in the world, and then she started drinking.
2006-10-16 12:53:51 / Rating: 132.25 /
Marianna
I should know better than to drink too much coffee and then contemplate what happens after death.
2006-10-16 12:53:36 / Rating: 177.75 /
oneman
When nobody's watching, i love to pull the hairs out of my nose.
2006-10-16 00:06:53 / Rating: 125.5 /
Eisenseele
Her eyes locked with mine and I felt sick with happy nausea, but she looked away without a smile.
2006-10-11 14:20:41 / Rating: 171 /
Lise
He said he loved me, but left me for another girl, only to try and win me back again.
2006-10-11 14:19:32 / Rating: 141 /
Timothy
I hadn't yet dressed as I poured the boiling water over the coffee filter tilting precariously over the rim of a broken pot.
2006-10-11 14:19:21 / Rating: 150.25 /
Lula Belle
I discovered The Dealbreaker: a can of Skoal and a wad in his mouth were enough to make me walk in the opposite direction.
2006-10-11 14:18:34 / Rating: 144.5 /
Tina
I couldn't think of a polite way to say that I didn't want to look at her mother's corpse, so I buried my face in my husband's shoulder as we filed past the coffin.
2006-10-11 12:16:37 / Rating: 188.5 /
J
As I stare at my 20.5 rating, I wonder about the policy on giving a "Yay!" to your own story.
2006-10-11 11:36:29 / Rating: 226 /
Liebe
She stood by the gate on the blackest of nights and listened for the sound of at least creaking, but she did not hear even the fluttering of a moth against the unfinished wood.
2006-10-11 11:35:52 / Rating: 89.25 /
Robot
She says that my awkwardness isn't a big deal and that it's cute, in fact, but when we kiss I can feel her holding back.
2006-10-11 11:26:30 / Rating: 128.5 /
Sugar Plum Fairy
My girlfriend has a boyfriend, and I'm okay with that.
2006-10-11 11:26:02 / Rating: 170 /
Pennyoz
I love tall spikey shoes but I broke my ankle.
2006-10-11 11:25:13 / Rating: 132.75 /
Alice
His mum was so restrictive with money it made me anorexic.
2006-10-11 11:24:52 / Rating: 120.75 /
Xaxx
The shrooms were coming on really strong, when between the stripper's legs, I saw the guy who had said he was going to kill me in high school.
2006-10-11 11:16:57 / Rating: 133.75 /
jas0n
After the lego man's head was successfully extracted from my sinus at the pediatrician's office while my mother was in labor, my grandmother would not let me out of her sight.
2006-10-11 11:16:20 / Rating: 155.75 /
brendan
My friend recently admitted that he until recently believed that cars were propelled forward by their own exhaust.
2006-10-11 11:15:57 / Rating: 192.25 /
Jeremy
When they handed me a medal for saving a man in Afghanistan, all I could think about was how I wasn't able to save the other two.
2006-10-11 11:14:53 / Rating: 304 /
WilsonOfPrussia
I used to have a lot of space and no wife, now I have no space and a lot of wife.
2006-10-11 11:14:40 / Rating: 146 /
Tina
No matter how long I've worked in insurance, I can't help giggling when I see a policy for "Erection All Risks."
2006-10-11 11:12:50 / Rating: 83.75 /
jas0n
Every morning as I take a shower, I compulsively think about the 1980s television program "Mr. Belvedere."
2006-10-11 11:11:42 / Rating: 121.75 /
WilsonOfPrussia
He promised, with all his heart, to call her tomorrow, which bought him another 24 hours every time he woke up.
2006-10-11 11:02:07 / Rating: 80.5 /
Reba
I never thought that laughing into another man's shoulder would classify me as a whore.
2006-10-11 10:57:35 / Rating: 143 /
Hacbarton
I've spent all high school following news stories that will probably never affect me to help myself forget my bisexuality.
2006-10-10 23:33:20 / Rating: 146.25 /
KF
The only professor I could find who was able to get accounting concepts through my thick skull died three weeks into the semester.
2006-10-10 19:43:50 / Rating: 195 /
Chris
I spent three years wishing for the one thing I thought I wanted, and have spent all the time since wishing I hadn't wasted so much time in doing so.
2006-10-10 19:43:11 / Rating: 104.75 /
call me dave
I was there when they put him down, he never saw it coming because he was in so much pain.
2006-10-10 15:01:03 / Rating: 149.5 /
Jomamma
I'm in love with a beautiful pregnant woman who is not my wife.
2006-10-10 10:41:31 / Rating: 179 /
Mae
I fell out of a bus once and broke my arm.
2006-10-10 10:40:27 / Rating: 137.25 /
Ryan
We'd never said a single word to each other, but I asked her out (unsuccessfully) when we slow danced for the first time.
2006-10-10 10:29:42 / Rating: 140.75 /
kimiko
I didn't feel as humiliated when he told me that at least six other people puked their guts out at the last house party, but I still made sure to stay sober this time.
2006-10-10 09:24:53 / Rating: 137.75 /
Sugar Plum Fairy
My girlfriend has a boyfriend thats homophobic.
2006-10-09 23:33:14 / Rating: 111.5 /
Claris
He would complain that I wasn't feminine enough, but he left me for a dude.
2006-10-09 14:20:01 / Rating: 259 /
Spiff
My best friend thought it would be perfectly fine to save time by applying sunscreen while waiting for the shower to free up because the sunscreen was waterproof.
2006-10-09 13:45:29 / Rating: 120.25 /
Bryce
While I sit here teary eyed, reading stories I could have written from my own life, I think "How many of these are actually true?"
2006-10-07 21:23:38 / Rating: 166 /
cmonk
I was lost into a world of abuse, sex, and alcoholism at the ripe old age of three and it went downhill from there until my first day of sobriety some 20 years ago.
2006-10-05 12:55:20 / Rating: 193.5 /
cz
She embraced me with the warmth of her skin, the wine on her breath and the smile on her lips and I felt absolutely nothing.
2006-10-05 10:56:08 / Rating: 208.5 /
DuckFu
I couldn't count the number of wonderful and terrible experiences I've had in life on one hand, though I can count the number of men I know feel blessed by those exact experiences with one finger.
2006-10-05 10:55:29 / Rating: 53 /
Allen Strider
Three years of memories flooded my head and I gripped the couch while she drunkenly flirted with him all night, right in front of me, before I stormed out forever.
2006-10-05 10:54:22 / Rating: 173.5 /
Lump
One second I was riding my bike down a hill the next I was on the asphalt crying with my shoulder torn apart.
2006-10-04 17:47:41 / Rating: 126.25 /
Dino
WOULD IT KILL YOU TO HAVE ONE FUCKING VEGAN OPTION, CONTINENTAL AIRLINES AND YOU DELAYED HIS FLIGHT BY LIKE ELEVENTYTHOUSAND HOURS AND I HATE YOU AND YOUR MOM.
2006-10-04 14:35:55 / Rating: 132.5 /
Lisa
I made a list and crossed out all the subjects that I knew right away I didn't want to major in, and in the end all that was left was Neuroscience, so I went with that.
2006-10-04 13:12:59 / Rating: 177.25 /
Christopher
I shaved my mutton chops away today today, but now I feel like a sheep.
2006-10-03 15:52:30 / Rating: 139 /
call me dave
Christmas will be hard this year with two girlfriends.
2006-10-03 15:40:28 / Rating: 166.5 /
call me dave
As the sun rose over the bay and the waves lapped at my feet, I reclined into the sunlounger and watched the first day of my holiday start.
2006-10-03 10:53:13 / Rating: 80.5 /
Mar-One
It was late at night, my tooth was aching, and my roommate was sitting next to me, driving me insane with his lipsmacking.
2006-10-03 10:51:08 / Rating: 120 /
DarkSoul Sister
When I opened the door there was a policeman holding my mother's driver's license and throwing uncomfortable glances to the chaplin beside him.
2006-10-03 10:50:25 / Rating: 589.5 /
Don't call me Shirley
I was more than half asleep when I heard my father speaking, but I didn't understand he was telling me she was dead.
2006-10-03 10:50:02 / Rating: 216.5 /
DarkSoul Sister
We had been broken up a month when I learned he married another women while we were together.
2006-10-03 10:48:34 / Rating: 210.75 /
Christopher
Grasshoppers need their hind legs to live.
2006-10-03 10:43:15 / Rating: 195 /
call me dave
It was the first movie I went to see but never saw, heard but never listened to and came out smiling without knowing the ending.
2006-10-02 18:45:41 / Rating: 232.25 /
Mr.Benn
It was upon the waking with red knuckles and bruises... I realize, I'm addicted.
2006-10-02 16:32:52 / Rating: 155 /
Avdibeg
Few will admit, but I am, honestly speaking, a man of few words and many ideas that only need to be written down on a paper.
2006-10-02 16:32:40 / Rating: 74 /
Annaline
My friends always told me, "When something is wrong talk to us, we are here for you," and when I did they told me not too.
2006-10-02 14:43:45 / Rating: 144.75 /
W.C. Manchester
After four days of hemming and hawing, we finally made our love in the front seat of my car hidden in an apple orchard.