Fat Girl
I have to choose between anti-depressants and weight loss, when half the reason I'm depressed is because I'm fat.
2008-05-15 11:46:25 / Rating: 58.75 / 
Laura
Yesterday I walked naked into my bathroom, looked up through the skylight, and discovered that there was a construction worker on my roof.
2008-05-15 11:42:01 / Rating: 55.25 /
holly
I even bet you're reading this now.
2008-05-15 11:40:34 / Rating: 29.25 /
Dan Beeston
One day I'll be angry when she squeezes my toothpaste from the wrong end, but four years in, it's still endearing.
2008-05-14 14:04:46 / Rating: 77.25 /
ehall
Today I had the most fun I have had with mother since I was a little girl, masking the fact that her mother died this morning.
2008-05-14 14:04:24 / Rating: 22.75 /
Melody
Compassion is not something you see when driving the roads of the big city, so it was nice to witness a nicely-clad man getting out of his comfy SUV to help another man whose truck had spilled its contents onto the road behind him.
2008-05-14 14:04:03 / Rating: 39 /
Regret Was Part Of Your Name
He molested my big sister and then 20 years later, he married my mom.
2008-05-14 13:57:53 / Rating: 32.5 /
Mary
We thought my dog had a tick and tried "smoking it out" with a hot match only to discover it was her nipple.
2008-05-14 13:56:41 / Rating: 52 /
minormom
Last night I realized that I have to quit being me in order not to ruin my daughter's life.
2008-05-14 13:20:13 / Rating: 33.5 /
Rudy
Yesterday my five year old told me that he found out at school that Heaven is full of dead people.
2008-05-13 12:03:10 / Rating: 67.5 /
L.L.
Though he thinks he's got me over a barrel because my religion won't allow me to divorce him, he's going to be very shocked when the papers get there next week.
2008-05-13 12:00:59 / Rating: 70.25 /
myfairmaybe
She often cries while watching him sleep, hands clasped on his chest, reminding her again of his sister's tiny corpse.
2008-05-13 12:00:09 / Rating: 38.25 /
Why did you have to name it "New Folder"?
2008-05-13 11:59:56 / Rating: 52.25 /
naval.lint
In the last 48 hours i've seen the sun set on Qatar, the moon rise over Iraq, the sun rise over Iran, and set once more in Bahrain.
2008-05-13 11:58:34 / Rating: 39 /
Seriously?
The broken car window was only made more annoying by the fact that they hadn't actually stolen anything.
2008-05-13 11:57:45 / Rating: 40.75 /
whatever
I was told that the cat got an infected nipple from licking himself too much when no one is home.
2008-05-13 10:28:52 / Rating: 53 /
Barb
On Mother's Day, I remember when my mother told me that if she had known about abortion in 1946 I wouldn't be here.
2008-05-13 10:27:34 / Rating: 58 /
Ana
You stay up doing origami until 1am without realizing I was staring at your back, just waiting for you to lie down beside me.
2008-05-13 10:26:43 / Rating: 50 /
Raven
I'm still waiting to lend you this CD which I've been carrying in my bag for three weeks.
2008-05-12 15:38:42 / Rating: 42.25 /
cpumaster
I blew out my knee making love to my fiance a week before I had to go to the recruiters office.
2008-05-08 17:37:40 / Rating: 67.25 /
tired of waiting
I stay up late reading One Sentence to put off waking up without her.
2008-05-08 17:37:24 / Rating: 93 /
kaesrel
No matter how many times I closed my eyes and wished, the two bright pink lines refused to merge into one.
2008-05-08 17:36:11 / Rating: 61 /
Perplexious
My uncle laughed uncontrollably at my flustered mother as she explained my mentally retarded brother's behavior of waving at cars while walking nude through the neighborhood, but the jokes ended the next day when it was my uncle who found a pile of my brother's clothes on the front porch.
2008-05-08 17:35:25 / Rating: 53.5 /
It was the perfect revenge, until I came home and the cops were already waiting for me.
2008-05-08 17:35:02 / Rating: 87.5 /
Too Tall
It's hard lying to the parents who raised you to be an honest man, even for the sake of your little sister.
2008-05-08 17:31:50 / Rating: 37.5 /